So last night I had a realization/determination/thought that totally rocked me. I was lamenting to my husband that the scale isn't moving quickly enough for my taste (yes, I weigh myself everyday - and yes, I know I should stop). I was getting really frustrated and feeling like maybe Weight Watchers isn't going to work for me (did I mention I started WW again early last week? More on this later!), when I had this thought, "Well, I'm not going to give up, so it has to work. I am going to lose this weight, and if I keep eating healthy, watching my portions, and exercising regularly then it is inevitable that I will reach a healthy weight." Now, maybe that doesn't sound dramatic to you, but it was kind of an 'ah-ha' moment for me. I realized, no matter what, no matter how difficult or long this journey ends up being, I will get to the finish line. I will reach a healthy weight and be happy and comfortable in my own skin. There is no failure - this is going to happen.
While I have lost weight in the past, I don't think I have ever felt this sure about the process. I feel so strong mentally right now, like there is no way I am not going to reach my goals. Failure is not an option. I am ready this time. Even if it takes me 2 years, I will get there. When I lost 60lbs a year and a half ago (I have now gained almost 40 of those back), I never felt confident or secure in the process. I kept telling my husband, "This feels too easy. I don't know what changed or why I am doing so well with my eating. And if I don't know what changed, how will I make sure it doesn't change back?" This time though, I feel so conscious and in control. I know exactly what is changing, because I am changing it. It doesn't feel 'easy,' but it feels worth it.
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